A Monk Amok

Retreat!!!

This post has been updated as of November 19th.  Read below!

Well, as some of you who read A Monk Amok at least semi-regularly know, my plans after the end of the academic year next April have been up in the air.  I simply don't have the funds to continue studying, but I do have most of the funds to do retreat.  I've wanted to do an extended retreat for the past several years, and now I have the chance.  At first, I started looking at other options in the U.S., but none of them look viable right now.  In addition, my own mortality and the frailty of the human body have been on my mind a great deal, in large measure due to the course on the Way of the Bodhisattva (Bodhicaryaavatara) I've been taking here in Nepal. 

I had the chance to speak with the Venerable Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche at the new Drikung Kagyu monastery in Nayapati, Nepal, at the end of the opening celebration yesterday.  We sat on the steps of the main hall and discussed doing retreat.  I plan to do at least two years, though if I can raise the rest of the funds, I will extend the retreat to three years.  Actually, a traditional three-year retreat is three years, three months, three weeks and three days.  The exact location is still to be determined, though for financial and logistical reasons, I will do the retreat in India.  Actually, I know where I want to do the retreat, but I need to speak with another rinpoche to get permission to do it there.  I will of course post updates as things progress.

Update: November 19th

I've got some information on what I can expect to spend in India on retreat--about US $120 per month.  If I can find just 3 sponsors who can offer $25 per month for the next 40 months, I'll be able to do a full 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days.  Currently, a long series of transmissions and empowerments called the Kagyu Ngakdzod is being given at Drikung Kagyu Rinchen Ling, the new Drikung monastery here in the Kathmandu valley.  The tulku / retreat master I need to speak with is aware of my wish to do retreat at his monastery, but has asked me to wait until after the Kagyu Ngakdzod is complete before we meet to discuss the retreat in any detail.

For those of you not familiar with the Tibetan tradition, the three year retreat is a tradition practiced in all of the lineages.  In some cases, it is like a survey course, where a fairly standard set of practices are engaged in over the course of the retreat. In other cases, the retreat is more individually tailored.  Larger group retreats (I've heard of a place in France that just had 80 people finish a three year retreat) tend to be more standardized, whereas smaller group retreats and individual retreats leave more room for individualization.

Three year retreat is not "lama college" as a great many people seem to think.  Just because someone has done three years of retreat it does not automatically make them a lama (teacher).  Just because they haven't done this traditional retreat doesn't mean they're not a lama either.  Basically, you're a lama when your own lama says you are.  However, from what I've seen, three year retreat seems to be the standard minimum to be recognized as a teacher, unless you graduate from a traditional monastic college (shedra).  Then you can be a kind of professor-lama.  In the Kagyu, Sakya and Nyingma lineages, this generally takes 9 years.

In my opinion, the real purpose of the three year retreat is to tame your mind and to develop bodhicitta (the wish that all beings will attain enlightenment--actually it's more complicated than that so I'll do a blog post about that later).  In other words, I'm not gunning for a title.  Your prayers for the success of this retreat are greatly appreciated.

Pilgrimage

Well, it's been a few weeks again since I last posted anything.  Last Thursday I had two mid-term exams, one for classical Tibetan and one for colloquial Tibetan.  This week, however, is reading week prior to the real mid-term exam period next week, so I'll find out how I did on those exams later.  Next Friday I have a mid-term in philosophy.  We've been studying the Way of the Bodhisattva (Bodhicaryaavatara in Sanskrit).  Of course, the class is taught in Tibetan with a translator. 

Last Sunday, I went with some friends and two lamas from the monastery where we are studying to a holy site for Padmasambhava (a.k.a. Guru Rinpoche).  It's called Chhu Mik Chang Chub.  It took five and a half hours to drive there (including two short stops for breakfast and lunch).  The last leg of the trip was a forty five minute (?) walk on a rough-hewn stone path through the mountains to the site itself.  It's supposed to be a cave, but it's more like a depression in the cliff face.  Fortunately, the government built a platform just below the level of the "cave," which was just big enough for our group to sit for a ritual feast offering (a "tsok").  I sat next to the two lamas and was surprised that I was able to chant along for about 70% of the ritual.  The text was all in Tibetan, but they went slowly enough that I was able to participate.  Of course, I didn't understand the meaning of the text (I've only been studying Tibetan for about four months).

Two members of our group stayed for the week to do a short retreat.  There is one old, wonderful lama there in a small temple just before the holy site itself.  I think they stayed in the temple.  I plan to ask them what it was like staying up there as I might want to do retreat there myself in the future.

Monday through Wednesday, I just did work-study in the small M.A. library at school.  I've been making a database of all the books and article copies we have and organizing them in cabinets and file drawers.  Now that I'm ahead of schedule, I should be able to finish early this semester and just focus on my final exams in December.

Wednesday late afternoon, I went to the new Drikung Kagyu monastery (Drikung Kagyu Rinchen Ling) in Nayapati, northwest of Boudha, to try and see HH the Drikung Kyabgon, Chetsang Rinpoche.  I had just heard the night before that he had arrived last Sunday.  It was too late when I arrived for me to see him, though, so I took a tour with a couple of friends and stopped to talk to some of the monks I new.  They hadn't seen me since I started studying Tibetan, so they were surprised I could communicate with them in Tibetan.  Anyway, they're doing all-day prayers as of yesterday (Thursday) so it will be unlikely that I'll be able to see him now.  I'm hoping to have the chance to talk to another lama regarding my future plans, though, next weekend after my exam.  The official opening of the monastery is on the 9th, which I also plan to attend.

Today is Friday. That gives me one week to really focus on my philosophy exam. I'll give it my best!

I'm still here!

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted.  I didn't realize how much time had gone by.  My day-to-day has basically been class, class, class, work-study, study, study, practice, sleep.  My classes are going well so far.  I've been doing well on my quizes (I have classical and colloquial Tibetan language quizes each Monday).  I haven't yet had a test in my philosophy class (Bodhicaryaavatara--A Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva), but I'm definitely enjoying the lectures.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like I'll have enough after all to continue studying here in Nepal after this academic year.  I'm looking into other options.  In fact, at Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche's Saturday Dharma talk this past weekend, he said that it would be good for people to study for a while at the Rangjung Yeshe Institute (his institute-where I'm currently studying) and then do retreat.  He suggested a few months to a year, but I'm looking at doing somewhat longer than that.  I'm not getting any younger and since studying isn't an option at the moment, retreat may be the best thing.  I'm looking at other options as well, as I mentioned above, but more about that later...as things unfold.

In other news, HH the Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang Rinpoche and other great lamas of the Drikung Lineage will be arriving in Nepal in a few weeks for the opening of the new Drikung monastery in Nayapati (a short drive or long bus-ride from where I live).  HH will be giving the Kagyu ngakdzod--a collection of Kagyu empowerments.  I plan to go to as much of it as I can, but I also have classes to attend.  I'm really looking forward to seeing many old friends and teachers.

I will *try* to post pictures of the new monastery and the lamas if my camera is working. The screen turns black sometimes when I try to shoot a photo, but I'll post what I can.

In other news, check out Bitterroot Badger, a new Buddhist blog from Bozeman, Montana.

And finally, a shameless plug for my birthday.  It's the 7th.  Send me hugs and smiles!

Death

The Case for Killing Granny is an interesting article in Newsweek by Evan Thomas about end-of-life care and the health reform debate.  Most of the article is about money, but it starts with an interesting story:

My mother wanted to die, but the doctors wouldn't let her. At least that's the way it seemed to me as I stood by her bed in an intensive-care unit at a hospital in Hilton Head, S.C., five years ago. My mother was 79, a longtime smoker who was dying of emphysema. She knew that her quality of life was increasingly tethered to an oxygen tank, that she was losing her ability to get about, and that she was slowly drowning. The doctors at her bedside were recommending various tests and procedures to keep her alive, but my mother, with a certain firmness I recognized, said no. She seemed puzzled and a bit frustrated that she had to be so insistent on her own demise.

The hospital at my mother's assisted-living facility was sustained by Medicare, which pays by the procedure. I don't think the doctors were trying to be greedy by pushing more treatments on my mother. That's just the way the system works. The doctors were responding to the expectations of almost all patients. As a doctor friend of mine puts it, "Americans want the best, they want the latest, and they want it now." We expect doctors to make heroic efforts—especially to save our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

Then there's the equally engaging article The Bitter End by Jesse Ellison, also in Newsweek.  In in she describes the disfunctional way in which the American healthcare system deals with end-of-life care through the story of her grandmother:

In the two weeks leading up to my grandmother's death from lung cancer last January—three months shy of her 92nd birthday—she was transferred through four separate health-care facilities and six different beds. First, there was a hospice, where she was not allowed to receive more than just "respite" care. Next, she was moved to an assisted-living facility, where she fell, twice. After her second fall, she was strapped to a gurney and pulled along a bumpy sidewalk through a snowstorm to an awaiting ambulance. She was taken to the emergency room at New York's Lenox Hill Hospital. Ten hours later, she was assigned to a bed. She stayed for three days before being transferred to another hospice, where she died minutes after she arrived. If my father hadn't redirected the ambulance driver who took her from Lenox Hill to the second hospice, she would have died in the back of a van headed in the wrong direction.

At each stop along the way, my grandmother was handed off to a new set of doctors, nurses, social workers, and case managers. Again and again, she was poked and prodded and tested and assessed. At the first hospice, her health initially seemed to improve, so she wasn't sick enough to stay. But in assisted living, she declined, precipitously, so was too sick to stay. At Lenox Hill, she didn't need the ongoing treatment that would warrant taking up a bed. So she was punted from place to place, always either too close to death or too far from it. It was a pointless nightmare: a Kafkaesque labyrinth of doctors and hospitals and paperwork. When she came out of her semi-conscious state in her room at Lenox Hill, one of the first things she said was, "Why aren't I dead yet? Can't we just get this over with already?"

Personally, when it's my time, I hope those around me just let me go.  Assuming I don't get enlightened in this lifetime, I'll be back anyway.

Mining the Buddhist Blogosphere

This post is just a few things that have caught my eye in the past couple of days.  First, two great posts from Rev. Danny Fisher, a Buddhist minister and head of the Master of Divinity in Buddhist Chaplaincy program at University of the West.

Danny writes: "I’m one of the 62 Dharma teacher/scholar signatories on the Buddhist Climate Declaration."

...

"Over 5,000 people, from over 100 countries and most Buddhist traditions, have now signed the Declaration.  If you haven’t already, you can sign it here."

I signed it myself.

Rev. Danny also posted about "Until Medical Bills Do Us Part", an article by Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times in which he describes the plight of his friend, "M." whose 2nd husband has been diagnosed with early onset dimentia.  When it becomes clear that the medical bills will destroy the entire family financially, including the inheritance from her first husband intended for her children from that first marriage, both a lawyer and social worker encourage her to consider divorce.  "M." ultimately divorced her huspand, but continues to live with him quietly.

According to Kristof's research, "62 percent of American bankruptcies are linked to medical bills. These medical bankruptcies had increased nearly 50 percent in just six years. Astonishingly, 78 percent of these people actually had health insurance, but the gaps and inadequacies left them unprotected when they were hit by devastating bills."

Kristof goes on to write:

The existing system doesn’t just break up families, it also costs lives. A 2004 study by the Institute of Medicine, a branch of the National Academy of Sciences, found that lack of health insurance causes 18,000 unnecessary deaths a year. That’s one person slipping through the cracks and dying every half an hour.

In short, it’s a good bet that our existing dysfunctional health system knocks off far more people than an army of “death panels” could — even if they existed, worked 24/7 and got around in a fleet of black helicopters.

You can read the whole article here.

Finally, from the  Tricycle Editor's Blog, an interesting post about Stephen Schettini, a former Gelugpa monk now teaching Buddhism in Montreal.  Schettini describes his approach to teaching Dharma:

I don’t promise perfect peace, earth-shattering insight or transcendental breakthroughs. On the contrary, I ask my students to work hard, and especially to beware their own expectations. We’re all twenty-first century grownups and as much as we want to believe in easy solutions and magical formulas we know perfectly well that a down-to-earth approach will pay off more than all the mantras, visualizations and promises of enlightenment on the world wide web.

Schettini has a new book out this month, The Novice: Why I Became a Buddhist Monk, Why I quit, and What I learned.  You can also read an article written by him for Tricycle here.

As a Western monk myself in the Tibetan tradition currently studying in Nepal, I can certainly see how learning in the traditional manner has value, but I've also seen how presenting the Dharma in the traditional Tibetan manner in the West is probably not the most effective way to transmit the tradition to the West. Tibetan monks trained in the monastery are trained to teach Tibetan monks in the monastery, not Western lay people.  My own education will ultimately be a mix of traditional and modern studies, so it is my hope that I will one day be able to help bridge that divide.

Buddhist Military Chaplaincy

Occasionally, when the issue of Buddhist military chaplaincy has come up on-line, I've seen comments asking how someone can be a Buddhist and provide spiritual care to service men and women.  It seems that those opposed to the idea of Buddhist military chaplains believe that the military is about killing. The military also engages in humanitarian work, such as after the 2004 tsunami in Indonesia. Of course, sometimes military personnel are in a position where causing death is unavoidable, but I would be surprised if they weren't deeply affected by that.  Many of these servicemen and women need spiritual care. Not to mention care and counseling for all the same issues people not in the military need care for:  normal job stress, depression, a death in the family, etc....

What I don't see is equal questioning of Buddhist chaplains in prisons. If we accept that thieves, rapists, murderers and child molesters need spiritual care, how can we question the provision of spiritual care for soldiers, sailors, airmen and women, and marines?

By the way, check out the excellent blog Buddhist Military Sangha.

A work in progress

May I be cool waters for those who are thirsty

and a light wind that revives the beleagured.

May I be shade for those burning in the sun

and soft grass upon which to lie.

May I be shelter for those who are afraid

that they may rest from the wickedness of the world.

May I be an inspiration for those who grow weary

and sustenance for all who hunger.

May I be a doctor for those who are in pain

and my words naught but medicine to heal.

May all sentient beings, lost migratring throughout the six worlds,

without exception awaken through this aspiration

and bring destruction to samsara in all its manifestations.

A few days of freedom

I've just finshed the summer intensive program in beginning colloquial Tibetan at Rangjung Yeshe Institute.  My final exam after eight weeks of study was yesterday.  I will hopefully get the results back by next Friday.  I think I did well, but we'll see.  There were a few things during the spoken part of the exam that sounded strange when they came out of my mouth, but by the time the thought, "Wait...that didn't sound right," formed in my head, we had moved on to the next thing. I pulled out a couple of things they learn in the intermediate class, though, so on balance I'm satisfied. 

Yesterday evening, I went to a Japanese restaurant called Sakura right next to the Boudhanath Stupa.  It was the best Japanese food I've had in years.  There were 20 of us, including 5 of our language partners, squeezed into a space intended for no more than 15 people.  We're a tight group though, so it was fine.

This morning (Saturday), I'm going to a Dharma talk by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche at Ka-Nying Shedrup Ling monastery and then we're having a picnic to celebrate the end of the summer term at the monastery as well. 

On Monday, I'm heading to Thamel (most likely) for a couple of days of cheesey tourism.  I'll probably read a lot, practice, sleep, and eat.  Then I'll be in a hotel in Boudha for a couple of weeks until my new room becomes available at my new host-family's place.  I've learned that during orientation for the fall, there is a short pilgrimage planned for Namo Buddha, the site where the Buddha offered his own body to a hungry tigress and her cubs in a previous life.  I hope to do more pilgrimage in the Kathmandu Valley this fall as there are so many Buddhist holy sites here.

I've also updated the post on my fundraising efforts for my monastic education.  I can't say thank you enough to all those who've donated.

More later....

My head is empty

Sorry for the long hiatus, but there's nothing exciting to report.  It's been business as usual lately: wake up, eat, study, study, eat, study, study, rest, study, eat, bathe, study, sleep. I squeeze in a bit of kora and a few mantras as well.  My final exam is Friday of next week.

I can report that I've made arrangements to live in a Tibetan household again for the upcoming school year.  I leave my current host-family after the final exam, but I'll need to stay in a guesthouse for a couple of weeks because my classmate is staying at the new place now.  I'll have a bit of downtime and will then move in to my new digs just before classes begin.  This new living situation will be really good because Drolkar (with whom I'll be boarding) is one of our language partners at Rangjung Yeshe Institute.  She therefore knows exactly what I'm studying and has a lot of experience teaching Tibetan to foreigners.

I've promised pictures in the past and haven't delivered, so I won't promise any this time.  The internet connection here isn't so great and has ruined my attempts in the past to upload pictures.  When I've got lots of time on my hands and even more patience, I'll try to post a few again.

I'm curious if anyone has any questions about life in Nepal, life as a monk, or about studying Dharma or Tibetan.  Throw 'em at me and I'll do my best to respond.

Tests make me feel better.

I've had a good few days.  Sunday evening, I ran into my teacher, Catherine, and two students from Rangjung Yeshe Institute while out and about and was invited to Catherine and her husband Gerrys' place for pie.  Lemon ...merangue (?).  That's not spelled right, but I think you know what I mean.  It was good pie. Mmmmmm.  We talked about dreams, but I can't remember any of them now (I'm getting old). 

On Monday, which was a day off from school, my friend Miroj came to Boudha to buy some thangkas (traditional Buddhist paintings) and have them mounted with traditional brocade boarders.  We then had a fantastic lunch at a Tibetan-Chinese place near the Boudhanath Stupa.  Best banana lassi I've ever had, but given that I just found out I've lost 15 kilos (about 33 pounds) over the past year, I'd better watch how much of that kind of thing I drink.  We also did a bit of khora (circumambulations around the stupa) and then headed to my host family's' house. 

That evening, I did some more studying for my mid-term.  This morning, however, I didn't feel so hot and it only got worse as the morning progressed.  This was not a good day to be sick, though, as I had my mid-term exam during the third period.  I was worried I would have to run out to the bathroom in the middle of the test and not finish it. However, by the end of the second period I was fine.  I joked with my classmates that the test made me feel better.  I think I did well, but I won't know for a couple of days.

During the last period of the day, I had a good laugh with my language partner about a foreign student talking about yak cheese.  That's what we call it in English, but to a Tibetan it sounds ridiculous as the yak is the male of the species.  It should be "dri cheese."  The dri is the female counterpart to a yak. I just knew you were burning to know that. 

More later...

You won't believe this

I just got this in an email from my sister:

Two weeks ago outside Philadelphia, sixty-five children from a summer
camp tried to go swimming at a club their camp had a contract to use.
Evidently, the club didn't know the kids were largely Black.

When the campers entered the pool, White parents took their kids out of
the water, and the swimming club's staff asked the campers to leave.
The next day, the club told the summer camp that their membership would
be canceled and that they would refund their money. When asked why, the
club's leader said the "kids would change the complexion ... and the
atmosphere of the club."

A "Whites only" pool in 2009 should not be tolerated. The club's
actions appear to be a violation of section 1981 of the Civil Rights
Act. Whether or not any laws were violated, a "Whites only" pool should
be something every American condemns.

I've just joined ColorOfChange.org in doing exactly that -- will you
join me, and email your friends and family asking them to do the same?
We're also calling on the Department of Justice to evaluate suing the
facility under federal law. It takes just a moment to do both, here:

http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1435-928282

Obama is President but that doesn't mean that suddenly all is fine when
it comes to race in America. This is a vivid reminder of what we know
still lies beneath the surface.

We all know stories like this one -- similar incidents play out quietly
every day in different communities across the country. The difference
in this case is that folks got caught and there was a contract in place
that makes for a potentially illegal act.

Standing up now isn't just about making things right for these kids in
Philadelphia or bringing consequences to this swim club (called the
Valley Swim Club). It's about creating a climate of accountability
everywhere. If we can publicly shame the Valley Swim Club and hold them
accountable for this incident, it will make others think twice before
engaging in this kind of discrimination.

Please join me in condemning the Valley Swim Club's blatant
discrimination and calling on the Justice Department to investigate
whether they violated civil rights laws. And please ask your friends
and family to do the same.

http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1435-928282

Thanks.

Make your voice heard.  Thank you.