Back from Retreat

I'm back from retreat as of Friday evening.  It was a wonderful experience...but more on that in a minute.

I presented at a conference yesterday at Hsi Lai Temple in Hacienda Heights on a Sutta from the Pali cannon.  My presentation was one of three chosen to be presented for "Dharma Day," a major event for Fo Guan Shan, the Taiwanese Buddhist order that started the university I attend, University of the West.  I'm looking forward to presenting again.  It isn't a highly academic program, but it's good experience for a graduate student nonetheless.

I also found out that I'm getting a new roommate.  Patrick, my roommate for the past semester, has to go back to Nigeria for a while to take care of some family business so he's taking the semester off.  My new roommate should arrive today and is a monk from either China or Taiwan, but I'm not sure which.  I'm looking forward to meeting him.

I also want to take a minute to respond to some of the comments to my post "Bad Karma."  The most recent post from 1/12 says "Life is suffering.  Let it go." 

Folks, I let this go a month ago.  But I can't blame anyone for thinking it was still an issue for me as I haven't posted for a while.  I do, however, think some of the comments show a serious misunderstanding about karma.  One person wrote: "Do you *really* think Buddha cares?"  If you mean is the Buddha offended by this, then of course not.  Enlightened beings don't get offended.  But if you are referring to whether or not the Buddha cares if we create negative karma or not, then yes, all the enlightened beings care.  In fact, that's all they care about.  Whether or not you agree that these images on jeans create negative karma or not is another issue.  I think it does, even if it isn't intended.  We constantly create negative karma without even being aware of it.  That's why we're all in samsara.

But I'm totally done with this!  Now about the retreat.... (Photos posted at the end)

As you know, I was at Garchen Insitute in the rolling hills outside of Chino Valley, AZ for about 25 days.  I basically stayed in silence, but was using the kitchen facilities to prepare meals.  Moon, one of the staff people, invited me to join the group for meals during a week of teachings, so I also helped in the kitchen some by doing dishes and such.  This necessitated some rudimentary sign language and mouthed words so my silence wasn't as strict as I intended.  I think if I do retreat like that again, I won't bother with trying to be silent as it felt rather contrived.  The staff and volunteers there were wonderful.  My last week there, Fabiola (on work-study?) asked if I needed anything from the store. I hungrily mouthed "Chocolate!" and so she brought me a bunch of chocolate bars.  Another anonymous person brought a box of curry and two Mountian Dews to my cabin and left them on the step.  These little bits of kindness were greatly appreciated.  I bow to all those who supported this retreat.

The cabin was fantastic.  I think it was about 8' x 10' and had a wonderful view.  I would step outside and circumambulate some small stone stupas I made, then sit in a small chair someone had left behind and look north over the rolling hills to the mountain peaks in the distance, or go behind the cabin and down the hill a bit a look out over the rolling hills to the west.  I was surprised how green it was.  It was more like a desert forest rather than what we normally think of as desert. 

The first few days it was so cold in the morning I sloshed the water offering as I tried to pour it due to my hands shaking so much.  I couldn't light the candles on my altar either without stabalizing my hand on the edge of the low altar table.  Once I wrapped myself in a blanket on my cushion, I was snug as a bug in a rug.  Speaking of bugs, a spider moved in with me for a few days as well as some small, green, four-winged creatures than hung out on my altar.  Unfortunately, one of the little guys flew right in to one of the candles and drowned in hot wax before I could do anything.  Another one got caught in ball of dust and cobweb, so I stopped chanting to try and delicately free him.  He stayed on my altar through the end of the retreat.

I also had horrible nightmares a couple of times in the beginning. In one nightmare, I thought I was actually awake in my cabin being pushed off my sleeping pads by a ghost.  The fear was paralizing, so I started chanting mani mantras.  The dream turned from a nightmare into one with a lot of laughter.

Speaking of sleep, I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I arrived.  I slept 12 hours the first night and took a nap the next afternoon.  In fact, I napped every afternoon for the first week or so on top of a full nights sleep.  One friend back here at school said last night that my retreat was also recovery from last semester.  I agree.

The last full day of retreat (Thursday the 11th) I broke silence.  I intended to continue the practice, but I bumped into another retreatant in the kitchen, Sangye Wangmo.  She kindly took six hours out of her day to talk with me in the dining room about my pracitce, her experinece, and Dharma in general.  She's been practicing for 15 or 20 years and has a lot of devotion and wisdom. It was the perfect end to what ultimately was a fruitful retreat, though it didn't always feel that way during the retreat itself.  I guess life is like that, though.  We don't see what we've learned until the experience has passed.

Sangye-la also developed a friendship with a large pig-like rodent that started eating the bird seed outside her cabin.  It follows her voice and may have even circumambulated the stupa with her.  I think she named it Khandro. 

Speaking of creatures and critters, I thankfully never saw a rattle snake or scorpion.  I'm trying to generate loving-kindness for all sentient beings, but I'd rather keep my distance from the little poisonous creepy-crawlies for now.

I'm glad to say I lost of bit of weight too as I mostly lived on oatmeal and soup for my retreat.  Let see if it lasts now that I'm back at school and that darn vending machine is right outside the residence hall.

Enjoy the photos.  I don't know why it always spaces them funny like this.

The main temple can sit up to 200 people.  There were two prayer flag poles out front.  One of them made a squeaking sound that freaked me out in the dark a few times.

The stupa was fantastic.  You can even go inside.  Some people even sleep there.  I think the stone fireplace in the foreground is used for smoke offerings.

My wee cabin.  The door faces east.  I could onlysee Sangye-la's cabin up the hill to the south, but I never saw her at all up there except for the last day when we talked. 

The north view outside my cabin.  I don't think the mountain peaks in the distance came through well in this picture, but they were a sight to see.

One of the small stone stupas I would circumambulate.  There were others along the path up to the main buildings that helped me keep from getting lost, some of them quite a bit larger. 

Me on Thursday outside the cabin taken by Sangye-la.  She asked me if I was wearing a house coat.  It's not a house coat!  It's a proper outdoor Amdo-style Chuba worn by people in northern Tibet (Amdo).  I think Tibetans think I'm trying to be Tibetan or something by wearing this, but I got it because it's long, maroon, and keeps my legs warm.

Sangye-la in the door of her cabin on my last day.  She was a real blessing.

Khandro, the pig-rodent, outside my cabin lookin' for some grub.  UPDATE:  I've been told this isn't a rodent at all but a javalina, something actually related to pigs.  It's also called a peccary.

Khandro gettin' her chow on at Sangye-la's cabin.

My cabin in the snow.  The walls were 6 inches thick, so with a few candles and a warm blanket, I was plenty warm for the most part.  It was strange to see everything covered in snow in the desert.

Prayer flags in the snow outside my cabin.  I put them up a few days after arriving.  I took this photo from the doorway to my cabin.

This shot was also taken from the door of the cabin, just to the right of the front steps.  Unfortunately, the snow didn't last long.

Finally, a desert sunset.  If you can ever make it to Garchen Institute, definitely go.  This is holy land and a great place of healing.  I look forward to visiting again.

Comments

[Konchog Dorje]

(0)<----that is a dropped stone

[Konchog Yeshe]

(0) for your stupa ;)

[Susan Law]

Thanks for sharing some of your experiences - very helpful to hear of them! Glad it was a good retreat.

By the way - that 'rodent' is actually a form of pig - a peccary, I'm pretty sure.

[scruffysmileyface]

A stone (0) and three deep bows for the venerables of all traditions.

[Tom Robertson]

Glad to hear you had a fruitful retreat and thank you for the pictures of the retreat center.

Good luck with resisting the vending machines!